Sunday, May 31, 2009

05/30/09 Bout Score.

The Morristown Madams edged one out against the East Penn Crush Bunnies last night, 116 to 99! We want to say thank you to the Crush Bunnies, and an extra thanks to Jimmy Sharter, who shared announcing duties with Rogzilla.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

05/16/09 Bout Recap

Courtesy of Josie Cuervo from the Dutchland Rollers:

On Saturday, May 16th, 2009, the Dutchland Derby Rollers' B-team, The Dutchland Blitz, visited the Morristown Madams in Morristown, NJ. This would be the first meeting for these two teams. The Blitz 2009 record so far includes one win; 211-46 over the Mason Dixon Roller Vixens (Hagerstown, MD) on April 25th. The Madams recently fell to the Maine Roller Derby B-Team, the Calamity Janes in March, 116-30.

Suiting up for the Blitz would be captains, Marie Antoithreat and Fujiyama Mama, along with Cherry Crush, Jo Clocker (bout debut!), Leah Loveless, Mara Jaded, Megan Whoopie, Rum N. Choke, Ruthless Ness, Sistine Shrapnel, Spanish Incollision, Stompin' Lizzy Stanton (triumphant return to the track!), and White Thrash. Simply the Beth continues to sit out on a knee injury.

For Morristown, on the track was Assault Shaker, Bozie Banger, Dee Licious, Doom Hilda, Inna Propriate, Killawaltz, Leggorcist, Ova Dose, Predator-In-Chief, Raven Rage, Rogue Rage, Village Vixen, and Yula G.

Dutchland's Rum N. Choke on the jammer line against Morristown's Dee Licious, started the game off 9-1 in the Blitz's favor. Next up, Ruthless Ness lined up for Dutchland against Rogue Rage of the home team. Rogue was able to put 4 points up on the board for her team while Ness was shut out. Jam 3 saw Blitz jammer, Mara Jaded put a 4-0 over Bozie Banger, leaving the score 13-5. Rum N. Choke took the star in jam 4 against Doom Hilda and opened it up for Dutchland to secure their lead with a 15-0 run. Jam 5 saw White Thrash take the line for Dutchland looking to score, however; Dee Licious put down an impressive 12-0, trying to even the score. Ruthless Ness and Rogue Rage would go at it 4-4 in jam 6, while Mara Jaded came back in jam 7 tearing it up over Morristown's Killawaltz 13-0, setting the score 45-21 for the visiting team. Despite these power jams coming from the Blitz, the Madams were determined to keep it close and kept answering back with more points. In jam 8, Bozie put up 8-0 over Rum N. Choke, followed by Rogue Rage gaining 2-0 over Ruthless Ness. In jam 10 however, Dutchland's Mara Jaded put 5-0 on Dee Licious. Jams 11, 12, and 13 saw both jammers scoreless; followed by jam 14 where Killwaltz would put 4-0 over Mara Jaded. Doom Hilda gained another 2-0 for the home team in jam 15, while Rum N. Choke was able to answer back with a 4-2 over Dee Licious in the final jam of the period; leaving the score 54-39 in the Dutchland Blitz's favor.

Period two started with neither Rogue Rage nor Ruthless Ness able to put any points up for their teams. Jam 18 saw Rum N. Choke put 9 points to Bozie Banger's 4. Jams 19 and 20 would remain scoreless for both teams. Jam 21 was a pivotal jam as Dee Licious was able to score 4-1 over Mara Jaded's 1, this jam was significant in that it was the last time the Blitz would allow the Madams to score over the next 7 jams, delivering an impressive run of jamming and defense. Rum N. Choke put up another 12 point jam, followed by Ruthless Ness's own 15. Over the next 5 jams, while the Madams remained stuck in a Dutchland pack and in the penalty box, the visitors' 3 jammer rotation would put up another combined 14 points, leaving the score 105-47. Jam 28 saw Dee Licious finally put some points up for her team, however, Ruthless Ness was also able to score, giving the home team little advantage with a 3-2 run. Killawaltz would be slightly more successful in jam 30, putting 5-1 over Rum N. Choke. The final jam of the game saw Ruthless Ness seal the deal with another 12 pointer. The final score in Dutchland's favor was 120-59.

Leading in scoring for the Dutchland Blitz was Rum N. Choke with almost half the team's points at 58 (4.8 pts/jam), Ruthless Ness followed with 33 points (3 pts/jam), and Mara Jaded delivered 29 points (3.6 pts/jam). Choke and Ness were tied for highest single scoring jam of the game with 15 each. There was no penalty information available at press time for Dutchland.

For Morristown, Dee Licious led with 22 points (3.7 pts/jam) and had the highest scoring single jam for her team with 12 points. Rogue Rage totaled 14 (1.75 pts/jam), Bozie Banger had 12 (1/71 pts.jam), and Killawaltz with 9 (3 pts/jam). Raven Rage was assessed the most penalties with 5 majors and minors respectively. Overall, the Madams were assigned 46 minors and 10 majors.

Check out the Dutchland Blitz at the East Coast Extravaganza on June 27th in Feasterville, PA as they face the Uncivil Warriors from River City Rollergirls (Richmond, VA). The Morristown Madams will be back in action at home on on May 30th as they host the East Penn Crushbunnies.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

$2 admission for Derby Folk!!!

Things you can get for $2:

  • A 40 of Olde English, with classy brown bag

  • A cherry-flavored bathroom vending machine condom

  • 2 pairs of practical dollar-store granny panties

  • Admission to a Morristown Madams’ home bout

The Morristown Madams continue to offer a special admission rate to all fellow derby girls (and refs, coaches and support staff). Maybe it’s 'cause we’re feeling sweet, or maybe it’s 'cause we need more bodies to pad the non-impact-friendly walls of our rink… either way, here’s what you have to do:

E-mail one of our captains (Yula G at or Bozie Banger at at least 24 hours before the bout (by 7pm Friday of bout weekend) and let them know:

Derby Girl Name, Team Name

We will put you on a super special list at the door, and then you can get in for just $2.

So save yourself 10 bucks and send the email! No girl showing up, even in full regalia with full pads and skates bearing free cases of beer, will be admitted for this $2 price unless her name is on our list.

Hope to see you here!

The Madams

Special rate for EMTs this Saturday!

The Morristown Madams would like to offer a special admission rate for the May 30th roller derby bout to all EMTs and Paramedics. We want to say thank you on behalf of derby girls everywhere. Show your badge or ID at the door, and receive $2 admission.

Hope to see ya there and please pass this message along!!!

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Next Morristown Madams Home Bout, 05/30/09

Dutchland blitzed us last night, 120 to 59, but we had a great time anyway!

Join us for another home bout on May 30th when we go up against the East Penn Crushbunnies! Tickets available here:

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Monday, May 4, 2009