Tales From The Booth, 1/31/09 - vs. Hudson Valley Horrors

by John Wilkes Score Booth

Dee Licious has gotten knocked down right in front the score booth. From my vantage point up on the stepladder, I have a direct line of sight as her head smacks against the floor. As she slowly stands up I can see that her eyes are spinning around like reels in a slot machine.

It was a rough hit and we're all a little concerned, including Dee. She returns to the home team bench to let the EMTs check her out because of pain in her jaw, but after a few minutes they give her the okay and she's back on the rink.

Later at the Grasshopper, I paint a Looney Toons-esque picture for Dee of her eyes rolling around in their sockets. She thinks this is hilarious. She lets out a big laugh, then abruptly stops and puts her hand to her cheek, letting out a soft little "ow."

My only regret this evening is that I didn't have any romantic music to play while Inna Propriate asked Doom Hilda to be her derby wife. I'll have to download something timeless and poignant, like Peter Cetera's "Glory of Love", just in case this happens again.

Tales From The Booth, 6/14/08-11/15/08

by John Wilkes Score Booth

Seeing a Morristown Madams bout from the score booth is an exercise in selective isolation. You are surrounded by four scratched-up thick glass panels, two of which look out onto the rink and four on the sides that border the visitor and home penalty boxes. The panels are just above eye-level, so most of the sound during the match is blocked out, but once in a while some interesting things make it through...

6/14/08 - vs. Pocono High Rollers

One of the High Rollers is being checked out after a fall by our much-appreciated EMTs in the visitors' penalty box. "Do you know anything about derby girls?" she asks them. "You should know that stuff like this doesn't stop us. We just keep on rolling." They explain to her that she might have cracked a rib and could risk injuring her lung. "So what? I still have my other lung!"

Later on in the game, another High Roller has taken a spill at turn 2 and the EMTs are attending to her. Ova Dose has been manning the Madams' penalty box to my right, and as she turns away from the rink she has a look on her face that is truly pained. "I can't take it when this happens." She glances out at the EMTs briefly, then looks away again, her knuckles turning white as she grips the edge of the hole in the glass.

9/27/08 - vs. Hudson Valley Horrors

Ova Dose has made her triumphant return to the rink, and takes a brief spill during one of the jams. She's waiting on the bench before the second period starts, and to me she doesn't seem like her usual energetic self. I pop my head over the top of the booth and ask how she's doing.

"I don't think I'm brave enough to go out there," she tells me with an uneasy smile. I try to give her a pep talk but I don't think it's working. "Come on, you're brave enough to go out there in the first place, so you're brave enough to go back."

She looks up at me and says, "You don't understand, that's not brave, that's stupid," pronouncing that last word as only a girl from Liverpool can.

11/1/2008 - vs. Lehigh Valley Special Vixens Unit

You learn something new every day. Today I'm learning that the score board doesn't display "99." Unfortunately I learn this during the final minutes of the bout.

Okay, reset home team score (scoreboard goes blank). Add 99 points to home team score (scoreboard shows a big fat zero). Hm, maybe another approach. Reset home team score (scoreboard goes blank). Add 1 point to home team score (scoreboard shows a one). Add 98 points to home team score (scoreboard shows a big fat zero, again).

Meanwhile, the zebras in the center island, the Madams, and the Vixens are all yelling, "That's not the right score!" while the bout continues. Eventually the Madams win by one point in a furious final jam, but I miss it entirely while I frantically press buttons.

11/15/08 - vs. Suburbia Roller Derby

Poor Bozie Banger. Not only is she in the penalty box, but she's at the mercy of me and D-Ball, who is coaching the team tonight in her Bear Bryant get-up. Usually when D-Ball skates for the Madams she makes plenty of noise by slamming her helmet against the side wall. Tonight all she has for a noisemaker is a plastic clipboard, which is barely holding up from the abuse.

I start poking fun at D-Ball by slamming my whiteboard against the booth. D-Ball responds and soon we're playing "Dueling Boards" with Bozie in the middle. She looks at both of us like we're crazy. (We are, and she should know this by now.)

A few moments later, Mega Menace is returning to the bench and D-Ball breaks the clipboard while smacking her on the butt with it. Maybe we should get her a metal one next time.

We're still here...

...we just haven't been here, but check back soon, we will be updating this site with more bloggy goodness. In the meantime, link up with us at:

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http://myspace.com/morristownmadams

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And keep an eye out for our revamped web site, coming soon at http://morristownmadams.com/

Morristown Madams Seek Win Over Bar Brawling High Rollers

This Saturday, June 14th, the Morristown Madams Women’s Roller Derby will be skating their last home game of the summer in the Morristown Rink located at 38 Dumont Place. The cute-n-brutal Madams will be battling it out with Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania’s “bar fight on wheels”, the Pocono High Rollers.

The Madams are coming off a two loss streak, and they’re determined to end it here. According to League President, Dee Licious spectators can expect an extremely hard hitting and fast paced bout, she added, “We are going to spank the High Rollers and send them home crying.” The Madams are not taking lose for an answer this time!

Injured Jammer, Bruta LEE, will be making her return to the rink after a back injury she sustained at the Madams’ last home bout in April. Lee has been aching to get back in for several weeks, but team Captains Yula G and Sophia Low-Rent chose to keep her rested until this bout, this strategic move is much like a baseball team resting their pitchers before the play-offs.

Rockets’ Red Glare, the Madams house band will be performing pre-game, half-time and post game. If you can't make it for the bout, stop by the Madams' newest sponsor, The Grasshoper off the Green after 9PM for the after-party.

Always charitable, the Madams will be donating non perishable goods as well as comfort and hygiene products to send to our troops in Iraq. Please bring a bag of goodies for the troops (no bar soap or canned goods, please) to the bout and it will be collected at the door.

The rink opens at 6:30 PM and the first whistle blows at 7:00. Tickets are $10 in advance from brownpapertickets.com, $12 at the door, senior and student tickets are $5 and children under 12 get in for free. If you bring your ticket stub from last weekend’s NJ Revolution game, you can get your ticket for pre-sale prices. Please bring a chair with you, seating can be very limited. For tickets, bout schedules, and more information on the Morristown Madams and Roller Derby visit them on the web at http://www.morristownmadams.com/ or http://www.blogger.com/www.myspace.com/morristownmadams.

Madams fall to Vixens by 18

June 8, 2008 - The Morristown Madams made the 75 mile trek out to Macungie, PA yesterday to tussle with the Lehigh Valley Rollergirls’ Special Vixen’s Unit.

The injury laden Madams were forced to round out their roster with borrowed players from Suburbia Roller Derby of Westchester, NY. Even with a final score of 132 – 114 in favor of the SVU, the Madams are extremely proud of their performance. “We did great,” said Madams Co-captain Sophia Low-Rent, “especially in the 115 degree heat.” She added, “We couldn’t have done it without Suburbia.”

The Morristown Madams will be looking for revenge on November 1, 2008 when they play the SVU on their home turf in Morristown.

Dee Licious & Sophia Low-Rent on Hometown Tales!

May 29, 2008 - From the Hometown Tales website: "Morristown's own Roller Derby Team Captain, Dee Licious of the Morristown Madams will be a guest on Hometown Tales Show 228 This evening. We will discuss the history of Roller Derby, tough girls in general and the Madams. Please Support them and check out there site and MySpace. Don't miss it."

Click Here to Subscribe to HomeTown Tales on iTunes
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Morristown Madams Summer Events

June 1, 2008 - I wanted to let everyone know about some upcoming Morristown Madams Roller Derby events..

First of all keep an eye out for us all over Morristown over the next few weekends as we hit the town to meet all of you!

Then on Sunday June 8th we'll be out in Lehigh Valley, PA taking on the Lehigh Valley Special Vixens Unit. We love those girls from Lehigh, so please come out and show your support, they are some kick-ass skaters, and we always have an excellent time with them.

The following Saturday, June 14th, we will be back home at the Morristown Rink to play the Pocono High Rollers. Pocono has a tough reputation and this is our first time playing them. We expect a high-impact match up that you really shouldn't miss! Tickets are still on sale, so please hit up a Madam or visit Brown Paper Tickets to buy yours in advance.

Then on June 28th, it's your chance to win a date with a Madam, stay tuned for more info, like who will be up for auction and where you should show up.

We're always recruiting, and now is your chance to be a part of the Roller Derby Revolution in Morris County. We can teach you how to skate, don't be intimidated, some of our skaters that start only a year ago are our stars today! Email us at info@morristownmadams.com for more info.

Thank you for supporting your local roller derby!